Unspoken words
by Andra-ggfan
Summary: Rory and Jess and a summer night.'I don't need words, I need you.'


**A/N:Just a one-shot about a night of summer.A huge thanks to Cat for the BETA.Enjoy and leave a review if you liked it!**

* * *

_A month or so ago:_

"_Look, you know we're supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago, and you know it, too. I know you do."_

"_No, no, no, no, no!"_

_"Don't say 'no' just to make me stop talking or to make me go away. Only say 'no' if you really don't want to be with me."_

_She looked at him and for the first time she saw him vulnerable. He had gambled everything and she knew it but her head was screaming 'Don't go with him! He'll only hurt you again!' while her heart was whispering 'Go! You could never be happy without him!'_

"_Yes…"_

_Before they both knew it their mouths had found each other, their hands were gripping at the other one's and words and minds had become useless. _

* * *

She lies in the cheap motel bed, covered in the even cheaper sheets, watching him sleep in the red neon light that sneaks through the curtains. Her finger is gently tracing the lines of his back, writing her name on his skin over and over again. 

"What are you thinking about?"

The sound of his voice startles her, pulling her out of her trance. She moves closer to him and places a kiss on his shoulder before tucking away a strand of his hair behind his ear -_'When had it grown so much?'_- and smiling, one of those true, small, sweet smiles that made him doubt that she was even real, because he thought she was so beautiful that he shouldn't have even been allowed to ever see her, let alone touch her.

"You."

"Anything good?" A playful smile appears on his lips, the same smile that had always made her want to kiss him until they were both out of breath but at the same time stopped her because kissing him meant she wouldn't get to see it anymore.

"Today wasn't at all what I had imagined." The smile fades as his eyes become serious -_'How can they tell so many things?'_-.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was amazing. Just…not what I had pictured."

"I should have found a way to make it everything you have ever dreamed of."-_'I want to make all your dreams come true, you deserve it, you deserve everything'_-

"It was perfect because it was you. Nothing else matters…it never did."

He crashes his lips to hers, a million thoughts rushing through his brain -_'You're perfect, I don't deserve you, I love you, never leave me, you're too good for me, you're mine, I love you, how can you love me, I could never not love you…'_-. He rolls on his back and reaches for the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand and lights one as she sneaks up closer to him, resting her head on his arm as her own wrapped around his stomach.

"Tell me something about you nobody else knows."

"I never expected you to leave everything behind and go away with me."

"I knew that."

"How?"

"I know you."

"Why did you say yes?"

"I want to be with you, I love you, I couldn't stand seeing you leave again, so many different reasons that it would take me hours to say them all. Are you sorry I came?"

"I have you, how could I be sorry?"

"Forever…"

"Forever."

The word keeps floating in the room, like the smoke that's coming from his mouth and for the first time in their lives it didn't scare either one of them.

"Now tell me something different, something silly or funny…"

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything…everything. You wanted to join the circus when you were little, you cried when you saw _"The way we were"_, you're scared of Big Bird…just something."

"I've never been to the circus; _"The way we were" _bored me to tears and the last one I'm not even going to answer."

"You've never been to the circus?"

"Nope. Liz was always too busy or stoned to take me when I was little and when I grew up and started to get around on my own I didn't have any desire to."

She lifts her head up a little and kisses his temple, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes, the reality of how his life had been hitting her harder then ever before -_'I want to make you happy, I need to make you happy, I love you so much it kills me to know I can't fix everything'_-.

"Thank you for making me call mom."

"You would have regretted it for the rest of your life if she hadn't been there."

"Probably."

"Thank you for telling her to bring Luke along."

"He had to be there…for both of us."

He blows the smoke out and puts out his cigarette before kissing her forehead.

"Now it's your turn to tell me something silly about you."

"But yours wasn't silly."

"I'll try and think of something while I hear your embarrassing secrets."

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Her blue eyes lock in to his brown ones as she says those words.-_'Don't leave me, never again, I don't know if I'd be able to start all over again without you.'_-

"That's not silly either."-_'Don't say that, it scares me, I don't want to hurt you, never again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…'_-

"It's the truth." He cups her face with his left hand and places a soft and lingering kiss on her lips -_'I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me but I can't, please forgive me, I'm scarred and I'm broken'_-. She smiles and kisses his palm -_'I know, you don't have to say it, your eyes tell me stories, I don't need words, I need you'_-.

The silence fills the room as he lights up another cigarette and his right hand, the one her head is still resting on, plays with the tip of her hair. She watches him smoke and pulls the sheet higher up his body-_'It's cold even if it's August, I don't__ want you to get si__ck'_-.

"I never would have thought that on the day when I was supposed to make the greatest fashion statement of my life I'd wear Doc Martens, old jeans and a Clash t-shirt."

"My Clash t-shirt."

"Isn't everything that's yours supposed to be mine and vice versa?"

"Huh…I guess I forgot that part."

"Get used to it. I like wearing your t-shirts."

"I like you wearing my t-shirts. Especially if you're wearing only my t-shirts."-_'Take everything you want, I don't care, I just want you' _-.

"Good."-_'You're enough, you're everything, I don't need anything else'_- She kisses his chest and goes back to watching him, finding patterns in the smoke that comes out of his lips.

"You should quit smoking. It's bad for you."-_'I don't want to change you, I love you the way you are, I'm just worried'-_

"You should drink less coffee. And eat better."-'_Don't get sick, I couldn't stand seeing you in pain, I'm selfish, I love you too much'_-.

"You shouldn't be allowed to make me this happy." -_'I can't breathe when you're not here, it hurts too much'_-.

"You should always be happy."-_'I want to be good enough for you.'_-.

He puts out his cigarette and flips them around, trailing kisses from her neck to her left shoulder and then down to her palm, laying one last kiss on her ring finger were a simple silver band had found it's place earlier that day.

"I love you so much…"-_' No one can take you away from me, that ring tells the world that you're mine, when did I get so lucky, is this real, we are insane, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I have you…'_-.

Their bodies get tangled together in the cheap motel bed as the red neon light that still shines through the curtains covers them and the millions of thoughts -_'How are we going to work, we're married, nothing else matters, the summer is almost over, I'll always be yours, never let go, you make me happy, you taught me how to love, I could never love someone else, I don't want to loose you, you are the one, we'll find a way'_- get melted together into one: _'I love you…'_

"_**For you and for me the highest moment, the keenest joy, is not when our minds dominate but when we lose our minds..."**_

_**Anais Nїn**_


End file.
